Seeing Clearly
by scntlla
Summary: When the nightmares end and reality begins, it's hard to know what the difference is. Luckily, Mahiru and Kuro have each other, and together they can learn to spot the truth, and they can learn what it means to see clearly...
1. White

_Note: Hey there! My first fic for this series, but certainly not the last! I'm late to the Servamp train (but maybe I'm just in time since the movie will be coming out soon? Who knows!) but I'll make up for it in due time. If you're curious, this is a two-chapter work, so I'll put up the last part for it sometime this week!_

 _That being said, this takes place in a somewhat AU where after chapter 39 (where Hyde gets "killed" and the Greed pair stay with the Sloth pair) instead of three days of resting, the four of them stay at Mahiru's apartment for a longer time than that. It's important to know that because it gives them time to interact with each other and stuff, not to mention it might explain some of the things that happen here..._

 _I'd appreciate it if you could let me know what you thought of this chapter, but a review isn't necessary! (Although it's greatly, greatly, greatly appreciated!) Enjoy!_

* * *

He doesn't know how it happened.

He doesn't think about what it took to get here.

He just _sees._

Mahiru Shirota can only understand what he sees, and what he sees isn't very pretty at all. No, he's nothing but a poor soul that's forced to bear witness to something horrific and soul-wrenching all at once. He's only a victim kept in a particular type of torture, that which bars him from comprehending things beyond his reach and that which wraps him up like a child in a forcibly snug blanket. It's warm, sure, but there isn't anything else to gain aside from that basic warmth and creature comfort.

Mahiru Shirota is very confused when he sees Kuro, Sleepy Ash of Sloth, reach out in front of him with an almost disparate look on his face. His eyes widen, widen, _widen—_ but it's all for naught, since nothing they do will _ever_ help him see clearly. He is earthen amber incarnate, dripping honey-gold in dual irises that reflect light and confusion back unto the world. His soul is the fire, the sun, and everything else with a humming pulse beneath its outer surface.

When Mahiru meets eyes with Kuro, he feels cold and dead much too easily. As the Eve of Sloth, it's Mahiru's responsibility to look his own servamp in the eye and bear all the emotions found in the crimson irises at once. Also as his eve, Mahiru has an obligation to Kuro, in which he has to understand him when the rest of the world can never hope to do such a thing. Yet he fails him in more ways than one, and it shows when neither of them say anything about the situation.

Mahiru glances from Kuro, to the shattered cat-bell that falls off the vampire's neck in a broken _snap._ It rings hollowly in his ears, and almost drowns out the weak " _Mahiru…"_ that escapes Kuro's chapped lips in bated breaths. He stares at the fragmented pieces of metal before him, those that have been cut up by some unknown force that Mahiru can't even _think_ to name now. All he knows—sees—is the broken bell, and Kuro's shocked expression which borders on despairing.

 _The bell is broken._

 _Kuro has been defeated._

These thoughts are all Mahiru has time for, because once he becomes aware that Kuro is painfully falling to his knees, the world around him erupts in pure _white._ It isn't like any explosion of jinn that Mahiru had seen before. It's not like the storm of butterfly wings that came out of Snow Lily in lying little batches, nor is it like the storm clouds that escaped Hyde in curtained spirals that half-obscured one's vision.

Kuro's jinn leaves his body all at once, like a freight train crashing into concrete after it disconnects from the rails. The white spirits fill up Mahiru's eyes, mouth, and ears. They drown him in their sorrow and they empty his power in one full sweep. His screams die out on his tongue, and his body feels feather-light even though he's trying to ground himself to any surface that isn't obstinately _white._ His eyes squelch out hot, angry tears, and he's apologizing to Kuro and cursing at himself simultaneously. Nothing he does, however, gets noticed by Kuro or anyone else that happens to be there.

He doesn't know how it happened.

He doesn't think about what it took to get there.

He just _sees,_ but even then, his poor vision is stripped away from him in a moment's notice. And with little protest, Shirota succumbs to his exhaustion as all the _white_ in his vision suddenly darkens to _black._

Then he doesn't see, think, or do anything for a long, long time.

.

.

.

Mahiru wakes up and sees Hyde standing over him. The vestiges of hostility and disinterest that Lawless of Greed once had for the Eve of Sloth have long since disappeared, ever since the incident with Tsubaki at the Tokyo Tree Hotel where—at the cost of being defeated and losing all his jinn himself—Hyde had become a much nicer, more stable person. While not all of his demons had been cleansed just then, his current eve did wonders at helping him _move on,_ so the expression in Hyde's eyes is one full of _sympathy_ and _worry_. He doesn't look like he hates Mahiru or Kuro anymore, and the ugly gleam of hatred has disappeared from his eyes entirely. Rather, Hyde looks quite charming this way when his brows are somewhat furrowed and his mouth is slightly agape—showing bare _hints_ of his sharp fangs at the corner of his lips.

 _If you have time to notice weird things like that, then you're just fine, now!_ Mahiru's voice of common sense scolds him. His cheeks flush red at the discovery of his own faults, and he sputters as he tries to sit up on his own. "Oh, Mahiru," Hyde speaks to him in an expressly worried voice. "Take it easy, okay?"

"Hyde," he addresses the Servamp of Greed in a tired manner. His own voice sounds like gravel in his ears, and he takes a minute to clear his throat before talking again. "W-What happened…?"

"Brother got defeated," he relays the information rather sadly, his usually sunny disposition withering like a flower. "Angel and I brought you back to your apartment."

 _He means Licht,_ Mahiru thinks silently. Of course, there's no one else in the world that the vampire would regard so lovingly, but that revelation leads to another. It means that the Greed pair have saved the Sloth pair, even if they're weak and out-of-commission themselves. For them to go through so much trouble on Mahiru and Kuro's behalf is so gratifying, but so embarrassing all at once.

Mahiru simply shouts his gratitude into existence. "Thank you!" His voice becomes a bit unsteady, but he calms himself from the sudden spike in volume as he continues to talk. "We ended up complicating things, huh? Wait, where's Kuro?"

"Mister Cat is sleeping," Licht cuts in the conversation here, the low tones of his voice doused in something much more docile than he's known for being. He must also be worried and saddened by this situation at hand, if his mild disposition is any indication of such. He sighs before continuing. "As in, he's literally _sleeping_ in his cat form. He's resting over here."

Things piece together in Mahiru's mind. With Hyde hovering over him just now, he discovers that he's been sleeping on the couch in his own living room. This is fine, because it reminds him that before whatever catastrophe lead to Kuro's contract item getting destroyed, the four boys had been staying at Mahiru's apartment in order to recover from the incident earlier, as per the request of C3 (the group that wanted _nothing_ to do with the Greed pair, which is fine because the Sloth pair wanted _everything_ to do with them). It reminds him that for a short time, the four of them had been living life in a strange but mundane way, and that after weeks and months of struggling with Tsubaki's forces, they _finally_ had a peaceful break for themselves.

If Mahiru had slept on the couch, then Kuro had slept in his cat form on the little bed-basket that Mahiru bought for him early on in their relationship. He looks so calm and peaceful there, like he had been playing video games all day instead of _getting killed_ and getting all the jinn released from inside of him.

Mahiru shivers at the thought of it. The memory of Kuro's wide eyes and shaking figure—the sight of blank white essence escaping his lips in sad puffs before exploding everywhere and drowning everyone else out—is permanently etched in his mind. It's cold, hurtful, dead, and all the things that Mahiru _hates_. He likes the simplicity of _life,_ but he finds none of the usual comfort of that within his servamp's body.

The black cat curled up on the bed looks tranquil, sure, but there is an undercurrent of _weakness_ buzzing around him. There is something heavy in Mahiru's chest, but he knows it's not the usual notations of sickness or anxiety that he's had before. That weight within him now is the one he shares with Kuro. It's his power as an Eve of Sloth becoming diminished bit by bit as his ability matches his servamp's defeated condition. Because Kuro really had been _defeated_ , so Mahiru joins him in this state of pathetic uselessness.

It's rather saddening, seeing as Mahiru had _just_ gotten used to being a little more powerful himself. He _just_ got his broom to become a spear, instead, and he _just_ got familiar with combat training. But he feels like his weapon won't even _begin_ to materialize if he tries it now, and that the inky black wings that Kuro once summoned from his back will no longer form anytime soon. Neither will his black lion form, something that would take a lot of energy out from him—energy that he _no longer has_ since he's been reduced down to a husk of his former glory. Understanding this all, Mahiru tries to distract himself from the situation by looking at the Greed pair.

They've been a little bit quieter than he expects them to. Part of him wishes that the two of them would tease him, somehow, and make light of the situation that threatens to throw him into a dark abyss. But they're stone-quiet and respectful, probably because they're _very_ familiar with the pain of this process—much more familiar than Mahiru can ever hope to be, anyway.

And now he joins them in that state of knowing. To commemorate this loss, he curls up on the floor next to the cat-Kuro. Gently, Mahiru runs his fingers through the black fur, and tries to forget all the pain that hampers him and makes him feel like lifeless weight beneath his brain. He tries to ignore the piteous stares he gets from Hyde and Licht, and he tries to _ignore_ the demons of Kuro's mind, those that try to invade _his own_ mental fortress with taunting words.

 _This is all your fault,_ they tell Mahiru. _You're the one at fault, here. You killed us._

 _You killed us, and Kuro is weak now because of you. Kuro will change because of you._

 _It's all your fault._

.

.

.

Kuro wakes up at last and effectively sends the other three into a frenzy because of it. At first, he stretches and yawns in his cat form—to which Licht cries out "Mister Cat is awake!"—and in response to the triad of voices that run lines of unintelligible words at once, he turns back into his vampire form without any hesitation.

Sleepy Ash now sits cross-legged on the couch in the living room, and he scratches at his head which looks the same as it had before. From his tattered coattails to his black-fur lined hood, everything about him appears as it usually would, and there's little evidence that he had been destroyed in a life-taking battle at all.

The only proof of it all ever happening lies in the broken cat bell at his side. Together with the frayed thread it had once been hanging on, the damaged objects sit listlessly on the surface next to him. Kuro doesn't look at either of these things, though, as his darkened gaze is aimed directly at the floor, instead.

"Kuro," Mahiru almost whispers. "Kuro, are you okay?"

He doesn't respond. Mahiru panics internally, but tries to keep his calm on the outside. "Kuro, can you hear me?"

"He should be able to hear you!" Hyde insists. "The bonds are weakened, not broken. So he should be able to respond and whatever."

"Then why isn't he doing so?" Licht asks. "Didn't you once say that a servamp won't be able to tell if an eve is calling their name when their bond is broken? Do you think that's the case right now?"

"Oh no," Mahiru groans. Kuro doesn't see it, but the boy staggers backward out of shock. His earthen eyes go wide at the harrowing possibility. "D-Did our bond break? Can he not hear me anymore? Kuro, can you hear me? Don't tell me that you can't!"

"I can hear you," Kuro finally speaks. His voice sounds like sand and paper rubbing against each other in lopsided motions. It sounds as if he's talking for the first time in his long-lived life. "I can hear you," he repeats.

"Oh, thank goodness! I was so worried that you—"

"—The new question is _this_ ," Kuro interrupts. He glances over to Mahiru, and the blood-red color of his eyes seem almost black and accusing in every manner. Those eyes stare at him with such intensity that Mahiru wants to wither and die underneath their gaze. "Who _are_ you, exactly?"

.

.

.

Sleepy Ash of Sloth speaks, but his words hang in the air like an unanswered plague. One of his younger brothers, Lawless of Greed, can find no witty quip or Shakespearean line that will be appropriate in a situation like this. Lawless' eve, Licht Jekllyand Todoroki, is equally stunned into silence. Not even a rude shout or technical attack on his end would remedy the situation now.

Worse than them is Mahiru Shirota, the Eve of Sloth and he who is entirely broken over the realization that his bond with Sleepy Ash has been _destroyed._ That must be the only explanation for this, because when have vampires—masters of the mind and memory manipulation themselves—have ever been known to suddenly garner amnesia?

When have servamps ever been unable to recognize their eves, unless their bond had been severed in two?

These questions are painful in Mahiru's ears. He can feel tears well in his eyes, and he tries very hard not to let them fall. But if he doesn't cry, then he's at a loss for what he _can_ do in a time like this. What can he say that will help Kuro remember him? What can he do that won't paint him in an entirely desperate color in the other's eyes? What can he do, what can he do, what can he _do—_

"—Jeez," Kuro whines, in lieu of the silence that has filled up the room. "I was just kidding."

" _What._ " the single word that come out of Mahiru's mouth isn't a question more than it is a statement. His eyes take on an indiscernible expression, and the weight of his shock is enough to drag down the atmosphere of the entire room. The Greed pair senses this sudden irritability, and they try not to look so helpless as they can do nothing but spectate this terribly awkward situation. A single question hangs in the air between them, though, one that's as silent as it is deadly.

 _What the fuck, Kuro?_

" _WHAT—"_

"—I was joking," Kuro reiterates. It's strange because his voice sounds like it's smiling, but his face is as even and expressionless as ever. The only thing that gives him a semblance of emotion is the slight frown that tugs at the corners of his lips. "Do you _seriously_ think I'd apply to the amnesia trope right now? If I could forget everything just by getting killed, then I'd have killed myself a hundred times over already."

"Kuro…"

"Could this be a side effect of his?" Licht speaks up again, unable to stay silent in the face of such a terrible situation. "The same way that Lust has lost his usual shine, that Pride no longer struts around, or the way that this shitty rat has become a crybaby—"

"—I am _not_ a crybaby!" Hyde denies this, but the tears in his eyes and the broken high-pitch of his voice betray him. "I-It's not my fault if I'm suddenly so _sensitive_ to everything, I can't even control it myself!"

"The same way that those three have changed, maybe this is how Mister Cat—er, _Kuro_ — has changed." He turns slightly red at the affectionate title slipping in his words, one that was solely reserved for the vampire's animal form. He powers through the embarrassment, though, and gets his point across expertly. "This joke is part of the change, maybe. Do you understand what I mean, Mahiru?"

"I do," he admits. "I just can't believe it! I can't believe that you would joke around about something like that, Kuro! That wasn't _funny—"_

"—I _know_ it wasn't funny, which is why I didn't go farther with it. Relax, Mahiru." He huffs tiredly, and falls over on his back as he spreads his whole body across the couch. Then, in a familiarly lazy tone, he adds on: "This is all so troublesome. Just forget anything I said before now, then."

"Fine, I will. Because that's simpler than dealing with whatever stunt you just pulled," Mahiru snaps, but the admonishment lacks its usual vitality. He feels groggy, still, and settles for a light lecture in place of what would have been a full-blown sermon. "But forget all that, you never answered my question. Are you okay?"

"I feel weird," Kuro says. "And I'm exhausted."

"Looks like you're joining the Defeated Servamp Club, now!" Hyde cheers loudly. "It's you, me, Hugh, and Lily! Although you'll have to fight Lily for the position of presidency, since he's the first one of us to get all his jinn washed out, and thus, the leader."

"That's a terrible idea for a club," Licht says. "Just 'cause Kuro joked about this situation doesn't mean that I'll accept it when _you_ joke around, shitty Hyde!" He reaches forward and kicks his servamp in the back of his knee, but the blow lacks its usual force because Hyde just staggers instead of falling over completely.

"Alright, alright! I was just trying to lighten up the mood, sheesh!"

"If the mood's gotten worse, then it's completely your fault!"

"Don't be so mean to me, my sweet angel~ And hey, don't glare at me like that! This isn't even about _us_ right now!" He gestures wildly in the Sloth pair's direction, ignoring the withering stare he receives from Kuro and the annoyed look on Mahiru's face. "I mean, they're fresh from getting their asses kicked, right? So why don't we be good older brothers and—"

"—You're younger than me, Hyde," Kuro reminds him. "Only Licht can say he's an older brother to Mahiru in this situation."

"I meant it metaphorically!" Hyde counters. "Oh, but Licht! Mahiru _is_ younger than you, so that means you get to call him—what was the Japanese phrase for it again?— _otouto-chan_ or something cute like that!"

Mahiru blushes at the thought, and perishes it in the same turn as he shouts out: "Don't joke around like that! And don't listen to Hyde, Licht! Calling me 'Mahiru' is good and simple!"

"I know that," he agrees. "I'll never listen to demons, let alone this _rat_ demon over here!"

"Please don't ignore me, _Lich-tan!_ C'mon, I'll be good!"

"I doubt that!"

The banter continues on, and it's actually quite comforting in Mahiru's case. It serves as a bit of normalcy in a time that seems so strange that he wishes that it was too weird to be true. But when Mahiru gazes at Kuro—and when he can just _tell_ that something is _off_ about his beloved partner—he knows reality and it hurts him mercilessly. The reality of the situation is that he _failed_ his servamp, and he caused him to become defeated by the hands of _whoever it was_ that wanted him dead. Their wish technically came true, because Kuro definitely died in a way, and became replaced by someone that _looks_ like him, but isn't built exactly the same since all the jinn left and weird emotions went inside to fill their gaps.

Mahiru closes his eyes, and lets the darkness of his eyelids obscure his amber irises, those which have grown dull and weary ever since he woke up on the couch.

He pretends that his soul is still sunny inside as his temporary housemates continue to exist around him.

.

.

.

"I don't want to rest," Mahiru says. He denies Hyde's worried claims that as a "weaker eve than Licht", he should take it easy for a while. "Even if it hurts, I think it's simpler to keep going as I was before."

"That doesn't sound simple at all," Hyde resists. "You only rested for, like, a few hours since we brought you back from the whole fiasco! Take a page from Kuro's book and get some rest, yeah?"

"I don't think so, Hyde. I'm not so stupid that I'd overwork myself, and thinking simply, if I ever followed Kuro's example then I'd end up sleeping myself to death." A small smile appears at the thought, and he continues with a light fervor. "But it's just a few chores I'm thinking of doing, nothing that I can't handle!"

"If you're so sure about it, then do what you want! You humans are so stubborn sometimes!" Hyde leans forward after voicing his complaints, and in flourish he recites: " _You lack the season of all natures, sleep."_

"Wha—"

"It's from _Macbeth!_ I thought about it since you mentioned not resting just now. I have a feeling that once you go full homemaker mode, there's nothing that can stop you. Not even me! So instead, I'll whine to you about how hungry I am and how I can only sustain myself on Angel's sweet blood for _so long_ before it gets unbearable~"

"So, putting it simply, you're hungry? I was going to make dinner anyway!" Mahiru reassures him. He's really grateful for the idea, actually, because it'll give him another thing to distract himself with. "Ah, but I'm more tired than usual, so dinner won't be anything too complicated. Maybe some hotpot will be fine because I can just throw everything together at once, haha…"

"Aw, but I want ham and cheese for once! There's never any cheese in Tokyo! I want _gruyere_ and _gouda_ and—"

"—If you whine about the quality of _free_ food, then I'll make you eat the dirt instead, you goddamned idiot!" Licht rushes forward, and slaps the back of Hyde's head with half-hearted malice. Hyde whines pitifully, but quickly retracts his statement in the same movement. He doesn't seem to be _really_ ungrateful—the comment is just one of many used to comfort Mahiru, in some strange way that only the Greed vampire knows how.

Shirota is sure of this, which is why he doesn't take the words to heart. He glances at the other eve. "It's fine, Licht. Just try not to beat each other up too much while I'm cooking, okay?" A small laugh escapes him, and the Greed pair look satisfied with this response as they leave Shirota to what he does best. Within the next few minutes, he's gathered most of the ingredients he needs for the dish, with the exception of the most important component.

"Where's the soy sauce?" he asks aloud, staring at an empty cabinet. "It's not in its usual place…"

"Oh, while you and Kuro were sleeping, Licht and I bought some takeout and we used the soy sauce on the side. We put it in the top cabinet out of habit," Hyde says, and he smiles widely as he adds on: "I guess I forgot what a _shortie_ you are, huh?"

"Whatever!" Mahiru scoffs, and hides his red face as he turns his back on the other, staring at the top cabinet with a look of fear. His height has never really bothered him, but it's a pain to put things on the top shelf when it's much easier for him to get them off the bottom shelf. Yet, when he opens the top cabinet door, he can see the soy sauce sitting on the higher shelf. He can see the bottle placed somewhere that taller people like Hyde and Licht would find more convenient, but someone shorter like Mahiru—who's five-foot-five on a bad day and five-foot-six on a good day—would find it annoying.

He can feel a rush of wind and a shadow looming over him, and in the time it takes him to blink he sees another hand reach up for the sauce. Kuro is right behind him, he realizes, and his arms brush over his in practiced movements as he grabs the bottle from the shelf. Then he takes a step back, and hands it over to Mahiru with a patient sigh. Mahiru then turns around, and the second he lays eyes on Kuro he thinks that something is _wrong._

He can't see Kuro's eyes in front of his for once, and Mahiru has to crane his neck upward just the _tiniest bit_ so he can see his servamp's tepid gaze. He stares at him for a moment and thinks obliquely: _Did Kuro get taller?_ Because he certainly _seems_ taller in this moment, and he towers over Mahiru in a way that he hasn't done so before. He looks just as worried about the situation himself, however, because Mahiru's prolonged silence and wondrous stare don't stop until he finds his answer.

"Kuro," he begins to say. "Are you...are you _standing up straight?"_

"Huh?" the vampire turns around, and realizes that there's no use in doing that, since he can't inspect his own back to make sure. But the truth is exactly as Mahiru put it. He's standing up straight for once, the lazy and noncommittal slouch in his back ironed out like a wrinkle in a shirt. And when he stands at his full height, he's nearly five-foot-ten and decidedly taller and stronger looking than Mahiru in the moment, who has to tilt his head up ever so slightly to meet his gaze.

"I guess I am," Kuro answers. "I didn't think about it before, but there's no use in slouching. It would be troublesome, right?"

 _No, that's not it. You just changed again,_ Mahiru amends the answer to his own question inside of his head. _The same way that Lily doesn't strip anymore and the same way that Hugh only wants to drink tea and eat old people food...you've lost your slouch, Kuro._

Although he's sure that he said all of that _internally_ , Kuro stares at him decidedly and says: "Maybe you're right," like he heard _everything_ just now. And it makes sense that he did, considering that his mind and soul are connected to Mahiru's in the most personal way. For the umpteenth time that day, Mahiru face flushes with embarrassed red—this time at the sudden loss of mental privacy—and he forces himself to think about cooking dinner and nothing else.

He takes the bottle from Kuro's hands, and almost drops it in the same motion. Thankfully, his servamp seems merciful as he doesn't tease him further for his efforts, and he retreats back to the couch and television in the living room, instead.

Mahiru sighs, and continues his work with a slow hand and slower mind. His thoughts are grim and numerous, however, and they drown him with their impending negativity. They echo nonsense into his head, saying that things are different now, and that cooking dinner for everyone is the least he can do because he's failed in every aspect of being an eve possible. He let the enemy get away with this heinous act—he let the jinn swarm out of his beloved servamp without so much as a protest. He didn't even have the strength to bring Kuro back to his apartment by himself. If it weren't for Hyde and Licht, then the two of them would have stayed collapsed on the pavement in the city somewhere.

There is a familiar but loathsome darkness swirling around Mahiru now, one that's naked and unknown to everyone's eyes but his. And he knows it's sitting there, perched on his shoulders like a blackbird while whispering songs of madness into his ears. He knows that he should be stronger than this, and that the simple way out is just to ignore all of these feelings and go on with his life. But he can't do that so easily, and the reason why is because everything is _different._

The realization hits him in full, and he almost drops the kitchen knife in his hand as a result of it.

Things are changing— _Kuro_ is changing—and there's nothing that Mahiru can do about it.

Nothing at all.


	2. Black

Mahiru doesn't think that Kuro can surprise him any further. After all, the vampire had awoken from his pain and death-induced sleep with a weary gaze, and after that he feigned having amnesia as some sort of a _joke._ Not to mention that he's lost his trademark slouch, and now he seems slightly more intimidating as he walks around the apartment at full height. Combined with the broken cat bell and torn string, Mahiru doesn't think that Kuro can have any surprises left in store.

He's so, so _wrong._ While Mahiru boils the meat in a pot on the stove, he goes off and finishes more chores in spite of himself. Even if he's weak and defeated now, he still has _guests_ and that's no excuse for him to slack off on maintaining the apartment. He plugs in the vacuum and starts sucking up the crumbs and dirt from the floor. Then he pulls out a duster and goes to wipe away the accumulated filth on the counters and shelves. Finally, Mahiru wipes down a stain on the curtains, and sweeps up the dirt by the sliding door to the balcony outside.

He gets a lot done, actually, and he supposes that these chores will go by as they always do—solemnly, quietly, simply. Mahiru doesn't expect the Greed pair to assist him in cleaning (they give off such a spoiled and pampered air that it'd be troublesome to ask them for help, anyway) and he has already gotten used to the fact that Kuro is about as useless in cleaning up as an actual cat is.

So when Mahiru turns around to fix another mess, he's surprised to see that Kuro is actually _cleaning it_ for him, instead. Kuro, the vampire of Sloth and the embodiment of laziness himself, is _cleaning._ Beyond the first two surprises that he had given his eve since he woke up, this one takes the cake for being the most unbelievable thing to happen so far.

Mahiru stands wide-eyed and agape.

Kuro sighs and looks embarrassed all the same. "Don't make this out to be such a big deal, Mahiru. You were gonna ask me to move so you could clean up over here, right? I just didn't want to have to listen to you nag at me like that."

"But even so, that's—"

"—And I really don't know what I'm doing, so if you think about _that,_ then I guess I'm just making a bigger mess for you to clean up."

Kuro's weary red eyes glance over at Hyde and Licht, and he seems relieved when they return his exasperated stare with differing expressions—one smiling idiot and one frowning genius—of their own. Mahiru wonders if Kuro is going out of his way to clean up because they have company over, but even then he thinks that the presence of his younger brother and his accompanying eve aren't enough to get the cat to change his ways.

(But his broken bell, weakened bond, and warped personality are enough to get him to change.)

And even though he claims to be bad at tidying up, Kuro doesn't leave a single chip behind when he throws all his wrappers in the trash. He goes to the sink and washes the oil from the chips off of his hands, which contrasts his previous behavior of just _licking_ his fingers clean. ("That's a bad habit and it's disgusting," Mahiru once said to him when he witnessed him sucking the flavor off of stained fingers. "Just wash your fingers instead of licking them!") Back then, Kuro had said that Mahiru was too overbearing and that it was easier to lick potato-chip fingers clean than to get up and head over to the sink.

But now, he's completely turned around in this particular behavior, and he tries not to look as bothered as usual when he drags his feet across the hardwood floors. While passing by Mahiru, Kuro brushes his arm against his own, and it's with this subtle movement that Mahiru notices _another_ oddity about the other.

When Kuro sits back down on the couch and leans into the cushion (but not slouching like he used to—no, he sits up as straight as a board), Mahiru notices something different about his general face and disposition. He sees that the hood of Kuro's familiar jacket is _down,_ and the black fur slumps against his neck instead of resting on the top of his head—instead of forming those familiar cat-ear shapes that Mahiru's gotten used to seeing. The fur-lined hood is down, and Kuro's pale white-blue hair is exposed in its entirety, with his strands growing just a _little bit_ past his ears and face, and his long bangs falling into the rounds of his red eyes. And the hair itself isn't messy like Mahiru always expects it to be, but it looks normal and tame like it might have been touched by a hairbrush recently.

It's just another surprise that Kuro has. And Mahiru feels queasy, because it's as if he doesn't know who Kuro even _is_ anymore. Childishly, he thinks that it's unfair for Kuro to change so much in comparison to his other siblings. He doesn't want this new Kuro, who doesn't feel like his own anymore. He doesn't want this strange vampire that wears his partner's image like a disguise, but isn't actually his partner at all, in hindsight.

What Mahiru _does_ want is a chance to fix his mistakes, and a reparation to the broken bell and dilapidated bonds between him and Kuro. He wants this so _badly._

"Hey, Kuro?"

"Yeah?"

Despite responding to Mahiru just now, Kuro remains affixed to the flickering television screen in front of him. Licht and Hyde are sitting on another couch in the same room, and they both chatter over the program that's on air with opposite opinions of the show. But Mahiru expertly tunes them out, and tries to focus as his eyes come down on Kuro's lackadaisical image again.

"I don't know if I've ever seen you without your hood up. I thought you liked it a lot, too."

"Oh, I still like it. I was just feeling too warm, so I took it off." A cursory glance in the human's direction, and Kuro _almost_ looks concerned. But the dullness of the violet shades underneath his eyes displace that warm emotion, and he appears to be as cold and unfeeling as ever. "Why do you even care?"

"That's—"

"—Is it because I've done something wrong again? I can tell that something's bothering you. It's 'cause I'm still not acting like myself, or whatever, right?"

"I wouldn't say it like _that,_ " Mahiru insists. "I was surprised, but I only mentioned it 'cause I think it's kind of _nice,_ actually. When your hood is down, I mean. I've always thought your hair was a pretty nice color."

Kuro blinks once, twice—then he tears his gaze away from Mahiru as he looks back at his show, fingers curling around the remote. "Thanks," he says quietly. "I think I like _your_ hair color better, though."

Mahiru smiles at the genuine compliment, something that is quite rare considering it's coming from a person like Kuro. He's glad that the Greed pair is too absorbed in bickering with each other, because otherwise they would have _definitely_ teased him about this little moment. But he's been spared their hampering comments, and he even appreciates the fact that they've been so _kind_ lately, so they deserve nothing but the best dinner possible for their efforts in return.

They all deserve a nice, warm, home-cooked meal made by one of the best homecooks around. Mahiru finds a strange sense of _pride_ in himself, suddenly, that which contrasts with the negative thoughts he was having earlier. But he welcomes this change nonetheless, because it means that he still has something to look forward to past all the violence. Yes, beyond the disputes with vampires, C3, and other strange beings alike, Mahiru has this small sanctuary of an apartment to call his own, and he can share harmonious moments like mealtimes with his loved ones.

As adoration fills his eyes and light fills up his soul, Mahiru practically flies around the kitchen as he finishes the last of the dinner prep.

When he's finally done, he calls everyone to the table.

The last surprise of Kuro's is still waiting for him, though, and Mahiru is none the wiser as he brings out the large pot of food to the table for everyone to share. The four of them take their seats with mild chatter coming up between them. There's a mixed chorus of " _Thanks for the meal!"_ and the sound of chopsticks clinking against ceramic bowls.

Eventually, they start eating, and Mahiru looks around the table to see three faces of varying satisfaction at the meal. It makes him wonder why he even worried so much before when he's had such great friends by his side this whole time.

Less than thirty minutes pass after that, and he quickly discovers the reason why he's been worried so far.

And that reason's name is _Kuro._

.

.

.

Between four hungry males, the meal doesn't last nearly as long as it should. And with the exception of Hyde's obnoxious comments in between bites—and Licht's grumpy words escaping in tired mumbles—everyone is quiet and content with the food in front of them. Mahiru is happy at this realization, and his worries melt alongside the food in his mouth. Before he knows it, the pot has been emptied entirely.

Hyde sighs happily as he leans back in his chair. "Wow, you're pretty decent at cooking, Mahiru! I was totally surprised!"

Licht nods in agreement. "Since you're getting closer to becoming an angel yourself, this isn't too bad."

"Aw, you guys! Cooking is no big deal, it's one of the simplest things in the world, honestly! But thanks, anyway." His gaze slides over to Kuro, who has been completely silent up to this point. Mahiru reaches over and gently nudges him in the side. "What about you, Kuro? How was it?"

"Why do you always put me on the spot?" Kuro mutters. "It's good, of course. As always."

"I was just making sure, that's all!" Mahiru chirps as he stands up and starts gathering the dirty dishes. "Let me put these away while you guys hang back, alright?"

"That's no good, Mahiru," Licht counters. "If you keep pampering this idiot over here, he'll never contribute to anything himself."

"What are you saying, that's not true!" Hyde's eyes have tears in them again, and he's too busy wiping them away to think of a witty comeback at the moment. "You're s-so mean, Licht…"

"Prove me wrong, then. Help Mahiru out with the dishes."

"F-Fine," Hyde grumbles lowly. "Just don't be such a _jerk_ about it, gosh…"

With only a few protests on his end, Hyde eventually goes to Mahiru's side, and he's already forgotten his tears as he chats away a storm about how he knows how to wash and dry dishes since he used to be a part time worker as a busboy for a restaurant once. To this, Mahiru seems vaguely impressed, and leaves the drying up to him as proof of his belief in the other's abilities. Mahiru washes, Hyde dries, and the cycle repeats until there's no evidence left of their meal. When they're both done, they take turns washing and drying off their own hands, and return to their respective partners in question.

The scene before them is a bit stranger than either of them would like to anticipate. Licht is still seated at the table, which is fine because he can sit there if he likes—that's not the strange part about this at all. Rather, the oddness comes from _Kuro,_ who's standing up with a determined look in his eyes as he stares down the Eve of Greed with a knowing glance.

The air between them is stifled. Mahiru's breath gets stuck in his throat, and Hyde laughs out awkwardly. "Hey, _Angel-chan,_ don't tell me you pissed off my brother while I was busy cleaning up after you. Even if he's been defeated recently, I don't know if I can take him on in my current state like this…"

"That's not it at all," Licht denies calmly, the eloquence in his voice cracking _slightly_ beneath and unknown weight. "It wasn't anything like that. Hyde, I—"

"—Kuro, are you alright?" Mahiru unintentionally interrupts everyone with his own worrisome inquiries. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Kuro insists. "I was just asking Violent Angel over here if he's gonna replace Hyde's name tag anytime soon."

"You what?" Hyde asks aloud, and looks between his brother and his eve. "W-Well, I guess you _could_ do that, Licht, but you don't have to trouble yourself with another hand-graved project. And I didn't think about this before, but maybe we could actually _renew_ the contract if you replaced the broken item with something else."

"I was thinking the exact same thing," Kuro admits. "If a contract item is destroyed, then can't it just be replaced by something new? Then everything would be fixed again. So I was talking about what I wanted to do with _my_ contract, until I figured that there's no point in worrying over it, and that I should just _do it."_

"Wait, what were you going to do?" Mahiru cuts in, not satisfied with the answers he's been getting so far. "Kuro, what are you—"

"—I'm doing _this."_

The room is quiet, silent, and helpless as Kuro moves with painstaking precision. Mahiru thinks he didn't notice it before, but the broken cat bell is sitting on the table, now. The bell is the star of this little show, and its fragmented pieces reflect little glints of light off their metallic surface. That shine is hypnotizing in a way, because Mahiru can't get his eyes off it. Even if the item's broken, and essentially _useless_ as a representation of the contract between him and Kuro, Mahiru decides that he's simply attached to the old thing, and he doesn't want to see it get destroyed further.

Kuro thinks the complete opposite. He thinks that the bell is worthless now that it's broken, and he thinks that the two of them will benefit if he just destroys it. That _must_ be the case, because he moves with such ferocity and hatred that it _scares_ Mahiru into further silence and inaction.

Dark red eyes are vibrant and _alive_ for once, and slender hands drop broken metal fragments to the ground. As they clatter against the hardwood floors, two voices—those that belong to the duo who commands Greed—overlap each other in obvious protest. A third voice doesn't cry out until it forms a fully fledged _gasp,_ one that is born from pure shock and despair.

The third voice is Mahiru, and he can do nothing as Kuro lifts his right foot up into the air—which is when Mahiru realizes that Kuro must have put his shoes back on at some point, and gosh, he's going to have to clean up the dirt on the floor from his boots later—only to bring it crashing down onto the lasting remnants of his broken cat bell. His eyes are brimming with fury, regret, and _hatred_ —all of which emit from him like shadowy shockwaves of disparity. He silently moves with purpose flowing in his veins, and he doesn't stop moving until the bell is reduced to nothing but tiny shards and smithereens of its former self.

He twists his heel into the object, grinding it to dust and further denouncing its uselessness. Despite the finality of his actions, the other three in the room stand shocked and agape like they can't _believe_ what just happened. Sure, the contract item is already broken, but that doesn't mean he has to completely _obliterate_ it! And what would that do to his bond with Mahiru, that which has already been weakened to a frightening point?

Hyde and Licht stare at Mahiru now, wordlessly asking what his next move would be.

"K-Kuro," he stutters. "Why did you do that? What was the point of all that?"

"There was no _point,_ " the vampire snaps back at him. "That's what I mean, this bell is broken and doesn't work anymore, right? So you can just give me something new in return, and it'll be like nothing happened. And this time, you can give me something that won't get yanked off my neck so easily. It'll work out for everyone, in that case."

"Even so, that's an overkill! The poor bell's already broken, there's no need to break it further! There was—"

"—I don't think that at all, actually. If it's broken, then there's nothing wrong with _destroying it completely._ "

"Kuro…"

"And another thing, why are we even having this conversation?" his voice is coated with something bitter, and every syllable that escapes his lips sends Mahiru into a fearful recoil. "This is such a pain, why don't you ever listen to me, for once?"

"I always try to listen to you! Why are _you_ the one that never listens? I know I have to take responsibility for you, but I hate how unnecessary you're making everything right now! Y-You've changed, Kuro." Mahiru finally breathes out what he's been meaning to say all day, and the words weigh heavily on his own chest with a huge amount of guilt. But he can't take it back—it's too late because he's said it already—so he just keeps going.

"You've changed," he repeats. "But I don't mind, we just gotta get through this like we get through everything else."

"I've _changed?"_ he echoes the words back at his master, but with a tone that doesn't seem good for anyone involved. "I wonder whose fault _that_ is."

"Kuro—"

"—And I wonder out of the four of us, which one of us thinks that he's the only one that knows that something's changed," he doesn't stop, and although his voice is bordering on angry, he keeps an eerie aura of patience surrounding him, still. "You think I haven't noticed that I'm weaker now? If anything, I'm the one that noticed it _first."_

"I…"

"I've been trying to be good for both our sakes', but you keep pointing out my mistakes and it's getting kind of _annoying._ " Suddenly, his voice warps, and Mahiru blinks as he swears he sees a flicker of darkness flash against the wall behind him. It disappears within an instant though, and everyone else continues on like nothing happened.

"You're _annoying_ me!"

Mahiru glances over at Licht and Hyde in hopes that they can help him find a suitable answer in this situation, but instead, he almost screams as the Greed pair appear to be nothing more than shadowy corpses. Like blurry static on a television screen, they wean in and out of reality, with warped shapes taking up the spots where two adolescent males should be. The darkness that surrounds them drips down like ink, and splatters against the hardwood floors of Mahiru's home—effectively slinking over the smooth surface and spreading more of that terrible blackness around.

Mahiru looks back to Kuro, and he _actually_ screamsthis time. The flickering shadow has returned again, although now it seems to envelop Kuro entirely, making his eyes and mouth bleed out crimson-black _hatred_ that swarms the floor beneath him like a hungry miasma. The whole apartment seems to saturate with this void-like appearance, and Mahiru feels as if he's nothing more than layers of smoke and air, nothing but ash and fog mixing into one incomprehensible identity as he tries to grasp for reality in front of him.

But it's no use. He wonders if he's been behind a thin layer of film this whole time. As if he has been nothing but a toy in a plastic wrap, watching the world transpire outside of his imaginary boundaries while he sits immobile. His apartment melts into the darkness that leaks out of Kuro, and the lightless blobs that were once Hyde and Licht disappear, as well. Mahiru opens his mouth to try and shout something, but the shadows move forward, and drown him with their presence all at once.

Suddenly, he can't breathe. He can't breathe, think, or say anything as his throat dies with hesitance and tears well up in his eyes. He tries to reach out, but his hands grasp nothing but cold air and _regret._ He attempts to call out for Kuro, but the name is too hard to muster out between chapped lips and strangled breaths. A flicker of the familiar white-blue hair appears for a short time, but then it fades entirely behind the swarm of darkness that coagulates and storms the room like a moldy drain.

He doesn't know how it happened.

He doesn't think about what it took to get there.

He just _sees,_ but even then, his poor vision is stripped away from him in a moment's notice. And with little protest, Mahiru succumbs to his exhaustion as all the _black_ in his vision suddenly brightens to _white._

Then he doesn't see, think, or do _anything_ for quite some time.

.

.

.

Mahiru wakes up, and he still doesn't see anything right away. But then his eyes adjust to the darkness of his room, and judging from the blue-blackness of the sky outside his window, he figures that it's early morning or late at night.

He's been sleeping this whole time.

An abrupt realization hits him, and he sits upright from his bed in a frenzied motion. He wants to cry out for his servamp, but his heart beats ahead of time from his head in mad rhythms, and he's helpless to try and catch up with it. Mahiru stays seated as his thoughts run haphazardly, and his breath runs equally ragged at the understanding of the _nightmare_ he must have had just now.

For a short moment, nothing feels real. And because of this, Mahiru doesn't register the fact that Kuro is _calling out to him,_ and shaking his shoulders in the same motion. He's not completely harsh in moving him, but his hands are firm and frantic as they try to bring some sense into the dazed eve.

"Mahiru!" Kuro hisses, sounding louder and more alarmed than he's ever been in all their time together. "Mahiru, you're awake now, so can you _please_ say something?"

"Kuro," he mutters the other's name beneath his breath. The moonlight wanes through his window, now, and he can see the dim outline of Kuro's face before him—he can see his lanky frame just inches away from his own, crimson eyes exhausted yet awake with worry and concern.

"Kuro!"

Mahiru ignores the other's words as he swiftly reaches forward, and blindly gropes at Kuro's chest until he finds what he wants. The metallic bell is delicate as it hangs off the string, but its round and smooth shape in Mahiru's hand tells him everything he wants to know. The item is still intact, and it's not broken or destroyed like his dream told him it would be. That would mean, in turn, that the Kuro in front of him is _his_ Kuro, one that hasn't been defeated by foolish movements or ill-timed actions.

It's _his_ Kuro, even if he's slightly quieter than usual. Mahiru doesn't understand how desperate he seems right now, but Kuro picks up on this emotion all too easily—such that he is stunned into silence and confusion for a short time. He thinks for a good minute before deciding to reach out, and gently grasps Mahiru's wrist with his own hesitant hand. Kuro tightens his hold, blinks against the lazy darkness of the bedroom around them, then sighs.

"Troublesome," he scolds him. "You're so troublesome. _And_ you were having a nightmare, which is why I even bothered trying to wake you up in the first place."

"A nightmare…" Mahiru echoes his words. "But, I've had nightmares before with you around. And you've never tried to wake me up before—in your _vampire form,_ no less. How come you're not a cat right now, Kuro?"

"For someone that just woke up from a dream, you're annoyingly aware," is all his partner says in reply. But Mahiru whimpers quietly, and he still holds onto the bell tightly— _so tightly_ it might shatter beneath his fearful touch. All of this works against Kuro and, feeling guilty, he keeps talking in a hasty attempt to explain himself. "Normally you don't thrash around and scream in your sleep, Mahiru. But you started doing that a few minutes ago, and I was worried, so…"

"So you woke me up just now," Mahiru answers his own inquiries in a weary voice, his heart rate finally slowing down in response to the other's calm words. While he doesn't let go of the bell just yet, he leans forward so he can carefully rest his forehead against Kuro's shoulder.

The vampire tenses up, but doesn't shoo the human away afterward. He lets him stay there silently for a moment or so, before asking him in a softer voice: "What were you dreaming about? If it's too much of a bother, you don't have to tell me."

"I dreamt that your bell got destroyed," he admits simply. "And then we had a fight and then some shadows ate you up...it's all really weird, now that I'm saying it."

"I see. Is that all that happened, then?"

"Yeah, I mean, there's more complicated stuff than that—" _like how you changed and how that was terrible because I don't ever want you to change since I like you just the way you are—_ "but putting it simply, that's what happened."

"I can't promise that won't actually happen one day," Kuro warns. "Just 'cause I'm stronger than my siblings doesn't mean I'm invincible. Even though you think that's the case for some odd reason," there's a bare hint of amusement in his voice, but it gets lost as he continues talking in a kindly sedate manner.

At this point, his voice is barely above a whisper, but the night is quiet between them so Mahiru can hear every word he's saying. And Kuro uses his free arm in the kindest way, because he slowly reaches for Mahiru's hands—those that are still curled around the bell hanging off his neck, the same way that a sinner holds on firmly to the hands of a forgiving priest—and takes them in his own.

Kuro runs his fingers over Mahiru's knuckles as he tries to coax him into relaxing beneath his feather-light touch. Mahiru eases up slightly, and lifts his head up from Kuro's shoulder so he can stare at him eye-level, now. Kuro glances—the dark violet shades pooled beneath his eyes looking just a _little_ bit better than usual—and blinks thoughtfully at the other, murmuring more half-hearted complaints underneath his timid breath.

Then, Kuro brings Mahiru's hands upward towards his mouth, and he plants tiny kisses along the ridges of his knuckles and the smoothness of his skin. Each little kiss is sweeter and softer than the last, and Mahiru almost, almost, _almost_ squeaks—but he manages to suppress the noise into a tiny gasp, instead. He hopes that Kuro can't see the heat flushing to his face, can't hear the thunderous beat of his heart, can't feel the electricity spiking through his veins all at once.

But even so, Mahiru realizes that his heart is beating out of love and consideration, _not_ out of fear or panic. To think that something as simple as a kiss would be the thing to calm him down is just so fitting for the two of them. Mahiru almost feels bad for having the bad dream in the first place. His lips curl into the smallest of smiles. "Thanks," he says again. "I'm sorry that I ended up waking you up in the middle of the night like this."

"Don't apologize," Kuro insists. "I never apologize for sleeping, so neither should you."

"That's different," Mahiru points out. "You sleep too often. The fact that you're not sleeping right now is entirely my fault, but maybe it's also a miracle."

"Ha ha," his laugh is dry and unamused, but the action in and of itself brings rare but identical smiles to both of their faces. "Don't forget that you were screaming in your sleep. If you were just snoring like usual, then I would've _definitely_ tuned you out."

"I don't snore!" he protests, despite knowing that he sounds like a foghorn in the middle of the night. "But I'm thankful that you woke me up, anyway. S-Sorry that I randomly just grabbed at you earlier," Mahiru suddenly amends, realizing how awkward (and intimate) it must have been for him to grasp at the other's chest and neck earlier.

The thought of Mahiru's fingers trailing against the soft fabric of Kuro's clothes, and gently brushing against the exposed bits of his smooth skin...he perishes the idea of it, but his cheeks betray his inner thoughts by blooming into bright, embarrassed red.

Sitting up straighter, Mahiru finally lets go of the bell, and listens to the sound of it tinkling as it falls back against Kuro's chest. Then he says: "This doesn't usually happen. The screaming during nightmares, I mean. And when we have company, too."

"I'm sure Licht doesn't mind. And Hyde sleeps like a log," Kuro informs. Whether it's the truth or whether he's only saying that to make him feel better, Mahiru can't tell. "You can apologize to them in the morning, if you'd like. There's no sin in sleeping."

"Says the biggest sleeper around!"

"Mmhmm."

Mahiru laughs chastely, the sound resonating with the ringing bell earlier. He's too busy giggling over himself to notice the genuine smile crossing Kuro's face—the one that disappears when Mahiru looks up at him with a renewed sort of confidence.

"Okay, I guess we should get back to sleep now," he advises. "Thanks, Kuro."

"...You're troublesome," he replies. "And you're _welcome,_ too."

Mahiru stretches and goes back under the covers of his bed, while Kuro hops off the mattress and reverts back to his cat form. The sound of his paws padding along the floor is heard, before it disappears altogether as he curls up in the cat-basket nearby the foot-end of Mahiru's bed. Then he yawns, his cute cat voice echoing in groggy murmurs afterward. Mahiru chuckles at the sound of it, and pulls the comforter up to his neck before closing his eyes.

"Hey, Kuro," he says against the sleepy veil hanging loosely in the room. "Thanks, again."

"You're welcome, again."

"And Kuro?"

"What?"

"I love you."

Kuro is shocked into silence. He nearly sputters, and Mahiru smiles to himself thinking that this little teasing on his end won't go unnoticed by him. Because his words are just that—teasing, and lighthearted fun. But it's also something else.

It's also the _truth_ , and Kuro knows this as much as Mahiru does. But his lazy nature will make him deny it most of the time, although there are some secrets that he can never hope to hide from the other.

Now that the shadows have disappeared, and now that Mahiru sees clearly once more, Kuro finds himself thinking that he's the same as him in this situation. Before he met his current eve, he had been lost and blinded, but now he has been _found._ Now, he is seeing clearly once more.

Now, he has something to _smile_ for.

By the time Kuro works up the courage to respond, Mahiru is already snoring soundly from his place in bed. But he really doesn't mind, anyway, and he speaks into the warm air of the room in reply—a sweet and affectionate tone barely hanging off the edge of his lilting voice.

"I love you, too," Kuro says.

 _I really do._


End file.
